I Was Trying To Be Funny But It Came Out as Really Mean: A 5-part documentary starring me.

I Was Trying To Be Loving And Supportive But I Probably Overstepped My Boundaries And Came Off as Creepy: a feature-length film with two sequels and a TV series adaption.

I Was Trying To Tell You I Relate To Your Difficult Situation But It Probably Sounded Like I Was Making It All About Me: a novel saga with several side book adaptions and a movie.


why do shampoo bottles weigh hardly anything but when you drop them in the shower they turn into a meteor

    I'm in my father's class at my high school. He said this today:
    Him:As some of you may not know, I'm a feminist.
    Him:No, really, I am.
    Class:*laughs again*
    Him:Why is that funny?
    Asshole:Because you're a man, and you shouldn't think that way.
    Him:Well why not?
    Asshole:I dunno that's just the way that is.
    Him:I'm a feminist because of my wife. She and I have the EXACT same job. Yet, I make more than her.
    Him:Why is that funny? Shouldn't women be paid equally as men?
    Same Asshole:No, they're supposed to be in the kitchen.
    Him:*slams fist on asshole's desk* Why?
    Asshole:Because that's how it is.
    Asshole:That's their job.
    Asshole:*can't come up with another answer*
    Him:I'm a feminist because my wife has the exact same job, gets less pay, and with that, I can barely support my three children. If she got paid as much as me, life would be a bit easier for all of us.
    *note, my mother is a teacher like my father*
    Him:Women gave birth to us, and now, here in the state of Michigan, they can't even have their own rights? It's 2014 people! Grow up or get out of my class.
    Him:Now.. Louis XVI





remember like 2 years ago when christmas stopped feeling like christmas for some reason

This post creeps me out because it is absolutely true 

*Where are You Christmas plays in the background*

they stopped playing harry potter marathons on tv..